Well that was disappointing. I came home from work thinking I had two episodes left so I watched one. It was the last one, but I didn't realize until I looked for what I thought was the last one. I did like one thing about Lila: she liked to start fires. I wonder whatever stopped me from becoming a pyro, but I happy it did. I was hoping to really finally get into Battlestar Gallactica now that Dexter and I are on a break. But alas, Waye Mason has led me on and broken my heart. I should've known.

There's a dead spider on the floor next my my left foot. I saw it this morning while enjoying my coffee. I assumed it was just a fuzzball of some sorts. I often mistake lint and things for bugs. So I crouched really close to it, to get a better look through the early morning fog. Oh shit. It is a spider. But it's not moving. It's dead. I didn't have the ability to do anything about it then. I remembered it later in the day and hoped that Piggy would eat it while I was gone. It's still there. I suppose I should do something about it. It's dead, it's not like there's anything to be afraid of. Even if it were alive, it's just a little fucking spider. Nothing to fear. Tell that to the arachnophobia. I'm too distracted by the hunger right now. I can't do something even a tiny bit gross. I have no idea what I'm going to eat. I have some things, but I think the only real food I have is pork chops, and they're in the freezer and I'm too lazy for that.

I have food. But I'm broke and I can't get myself to eat. I just can't cope with having no money at all. It's old, old baggage. I watched my mother do this to herself when I was growing up. The dumbest part of it all is that I spent what little I had yesterday on some office snacks and a pack of cigarettes. 'Cause /' you're this broke and can't eat you need to smoke. One, to "help" with the stress and two, to stifle the appetite and make yourself too sick to worry about eating.

OK. I'm gonna look at the cupboards.

Faxe Hands was four years ago. Time flies.