It was such a nicer day last year. Which is a good thing because that dress was pretty summery for an April wedding. And the best photos, well, my favourites anyway, were taken outside in front of the North End Church. I love the peeling paint in the background. I'd post some photos, but I'm at a cafe. Going to Charile's with my dad and his parents after the ceremony (and wearing my tiara) was the icing on top.

I'm not sure what the weather was like 9 years ago. The first time we kissed. My heart raced and I almost fainted. You were only the second person I kissed and had actually wanted to. Most of all those other guys were just to get it over with. Sick of being green. Except Adrian. I was really picky with my first boyfriend. Didn't give anyone the time of day until he approached me. I had to break up with him when he told me he loved me after us only being together for 6 weeks (and only being 15). I said "thank you" and hung up the phone. I waited to dump him until the Spring Formal. Well, I was trying to wait until after the formal. See, this would've been my first time going with a date I liked in that way. But, I couldn't do it. Halfway through the dance I had to break it to him. "I like you, but I don't love you. We hardly even know each other. Believe me, once you get to know me, you'll stop liking me. Love's a really strong word. You don't love me. You might think you do. But we're kids."

But that kiss, all those years ago. That was something. I couldn't believe someone like you would actually be interested in someone like me. I knew I had to make the most of it while I could. Once you saw I was only pretty on the outside you run, screaming.

But you're still here. And you say you still love me. I can't believe it. You shouldn't. I'm so unbelievably lucky.

"You're a good Id."

"No, I'm not, but thanks."

I wonder what's in store for tonight. By the time you get home, it'll be a little late to find a restaurant. It's so cold and crappy for the dress and shoes I'd wanted to wear. I'll still wear a dress. Wet pants are awful. But the shoes... All that leaves me with are stinky sneakers. Good thing I bought waterproof mascara by mistake last time.

I can't believe I haven't pushed you away yet. God knows I've tried. You know that too.

"Nobody loves you like I do."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not fair. You're psyching yourself out of being married when you should be psyching yourself into it."

"I know."

You really do know me. so how can you still be here?

Two years ago, I also wrote about a love that I easily take for granted. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm not supposed to talk about our relationship. It's private and involves someone's life other than my own. But, April 5th is an exception.