So, today's the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. I think. I always think it's on Lavender's birthday, but that's the day his body was found.
Today's is also the anniversary of Crystal and KC as an amalgamation. 7 years ago, I met his parents. That was a crazy day. I thought we were all going to have Easter dinner together. I didn't expect a freak-out. To be fair, I guess he had neglected to even tell his parents I'd be there. I wasn't prepared for what occurred. A woman flying around the apartment trying to steal her other adult son's laundry, while he was at work. A man sitting, watching TV, ignoring everything. A young man, he was soon to turn 20, chasing after the woman, trying to get her to stop, and calm down, and meet me. Then, they made KC and I eat together, while they watched TV. They hardly said a word to me. I was told later (months later) that the mother cried that night. She had wanted her son to get a nice, Christian girl, but instead, he found someone that was "even more lost than he was." I shouldn't tell you that, because you'll take it the wrong way. It was years ago and it's been talked about, understood, and forgiven. But it was a crazy day.
Love is such an amazing thing. I've spent months just knowing it as a word; an intellectual concept. So many years after the lust and infatuation stage, so many years after our relationship seemingly lost the ability to grow further, I just began to forget. And take things for granted. I'm very thankful I got the 7 Year Itch out of the way last year, without even acting on it.
I get overwhelmed when I'm reminded that love is a feeling, and not just a word. It hits me hard in the chest to remember that I love you in that special way, and not just because I care about you like a friend. I was beginning to think I was incapable of it. That what I thought was it in the past was just lust and infatuation. Then I get hit with it like last night, when you laid your head on my chest, close to my heart. Those are the times the tears swell. Not tears of sadness. Not tears of joy. But tears of being overwhelmed.
I love you.
But I'm so bad at showing it. I know you know. You know me better than I do.
She loves him more than he will ever know.
He loves her more than he will ever show.
Guess what I wrote about this day last year.
Today's is also the anniversary of Crystal and KC as an amalgamation. 7 years ago, I met his parents. That was a crazy day. I thought we were all going to have Easter dinner together. I didn't expect a freak-out. To be fair, I guess he had neglected to even tell his parents I'd be there. I wasn't prepared for what occurred. A woman flying around the apartment trying to steal her other adult son's laundry, while he was at work. A man sitting, watching TV, ignoring everything. A young man, he was soon to turn 20, chasing after the woman, trying to get her to stop, and calm down, and meet me. Then, they made KC and I eat together, while they watched TV. They hardly said a word to me. I was told later (months later) that the mother cried that night. She had wanted her son to get a nice, Christian girl, but instead, he found someone that was "even more lost than he was." I shouldn't tell you that, because you'll take it the wrong way. It was years ago and it's been talked about, understood, and forgiven. But it was a crazy day.
Love is such an amazing thing. I've spent months just knowing it as a word; an intellectual concept. So many years after the lust and infatuation stage, so many years after our relationship seemingly lost the ability to grow further, I just began to forget. And take things for granted. I'm very thankful I got the 7 Year Itch out of the way last year, without even acting on it.
I get overwhelmed when I'm reminded that love is a feeling, and not just a word. It hits me hard in the chest to remember that I love you in that special way, and not just because I care about you like a friend. I was beginning to think I was incapable of it. That what I thought was it in the past was just lust and infatuation. Then I get hit with it like last night, when you laid your head on my chest, close to my heart. Those are the times the tears swell. Not tears of sadness. Not tears of joy. But tears of being overwhelmed.
I love you.
But I'm so bad at showing it. I know you know. You know me better than I do.
She loves him more than he will ever know.
He loves her more than he will ever show.
Guess what I wrote about this day last year.
posted by crystal at
1:27 pm
2 Comments:
sometimes love is serious.
By
ling-ling san, at 7/4/05 11:25 am
so serious
By
crystal, at 9/4/05 2:19 am
Post a Comment
<< Home