pistolwhip

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I think I've mentioned before that I've struggled my whole life to find a definition of the word "friend" that I can understand. I mean, really deep down. I use the word casually when referring to practically anyone I know. But really, I only think of a few people that I'd consider actual friends. It doesn't even really matter. People are people and we all have our own lives; sometimes they overlap. Sometimes I expect far too much from people I call friends, but I don't give out the same in return (because I'm a bad person). Other times, I don't expect anything. Things are better then. I just talk and have fun and am not disappointed when things don't go the way I'd wish. Although I enjoyed last night, perhaps we were never friends. Or maybe friendship the way I understand it doesn't exist.

Last year I moved pistolwhip to another location and lost my first post.

posted by crystal at 12:11 pm

8 Comments:

  • PS- Don't take this post too seriously. It's just me being psycho.

    By Blogger crystal, at 9/8/06 1:06 pm  

  • i got too forgetful to go to charlies last night, i ment to go have fun with you psychos.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9/8/06 4:41 pm  

  • I'm so glad Pistolwhip is back in it's home. I was fed up with the whole internet without it!

    "I ain't 'fraid o' no ghost!" - Ray Parker, Jr.

    By Blogger ling-ling san, at 11/8/06 11:10 am  

  • Hey baby! What's your sign? Here's mine:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_Tire_Money

    By Blogger ling-ling san, at 2/9/06 2:29 am  

  • PS- when I say "psycho", I'm quoting something from the night before. It's not like I'm questioning all my friendships (although that's common in my life). See, at the bar, it was all in good fun. Say some things that I find weird (I'm not too clued into other's perceptions of me), and I laugh it off in the name of a good time. The next morning, hungover (which equals slight depression), I began questioning everything. How could we really be friends if that's how you think of me? blah blah blah. I also wrote this ages ago.

    emily: I didn't even know you were supposed to come to chuck's. It's nice to live with you.

    ling: I know you found it hard knowing what to do without pistolwhip, but it's not like it ever really returned. Also, and I feel like one of those "I'm cooler than you because I saw the internet first, so really I'm a bigger loser" folks since the last few internet things you've shown me I've already seen. That's a pretty awesome entry though, and I'll read it again someday when I really have internet.

    smooches!

    By Blogger crystal, at 3/9/06 8:40 pm  

  • AND, since I don't have my own connetion anymorfe, I'm sure you'll catch up to me soon. I'm not wasting all those hours anymore...

    By Blogger crystal, at 3/9/06 8:41 pm  

  • YOu know some of my saddest days have been spent trying to figure this out. It takes a lot of trust to allow yourself to believe that somebody will really get your back or just listen or whatever this thing a friend is supposed to be. I guess the only thing I've learned that matters is that the friend who sticks around is the person that yoyu find yourself wanting to forgive or forgives you if the shit goes down. Usually the people that support you in the ways that matter to your soul have seen all your worst parts and care about you anyway.

    By Blogger skinned, at 21/9/06 2:53 am  

  • Thanks, skinned. Sadly, the person I was mainly writing about is one of those friends. What was said really was in good fun. And I really am psycho.

    By Blogger crystal, at 15/11/06 4:43 pm  

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