I should go to bed. I meant to awhile ago, but here I sit. But wait! Canadian Case Files just came on. I guess I'll watch some of that, write this, and have another smoke first.

This weekend really wore me out. I'm finally taking steps out of my safety zone and doing new things. It's great and certainly has me excited for the future; that time when I finally stabilize a bit and genuinely love life.

I'm not sure why I was so upset last week. Now it seems like it was months ago. A few good and/or intense conversations and a bunch of beer, a very good workout where I pounded the shit out of the bag and got to hit the instructor for the first time, and a trip to a lake that included fireworks and I feel a million times better. Back to enjoying my situation and looking forward to what lies ahead. I'm not cranky anymore.

I'm leaving for tour again in a couple weeks. I was a bit worried, but now I'm confident things will be fine. I was not looking forward to getting into the van that frustrated. Now I'm excited to get some time off work to do what I wish I did much more of. I'm going to play a bunch of show, see a bunch of people I like and meet some more that I will (hopefully) like, celebrate my birthday in Ontario with my dad, return to New York, and go some places I've never been. And before that, I get to use my tent for the first time at a fun festival in a town I really like.

Last year was actually the day I was melting at work. I also couldn't stand the heat in my home life.