Two months.

I was going to mention it yesterday, but there's no point. My mind just has a thing for numbers and patterns.

Instead of writing about that mean night two months ago (yesterday), I got a call inviting me to an impromptu Charlie's session with the people I often spend Tuesdays with in a basement playing music. Then I let a little bit of meanness slip out at the bar. See, I don't think I was actually mean in February. I was honest. I told you I was too drunk to get into it all. But it had to be expressed, at some point. I tried to say everything with respect and compassion. I don't know if I pulled that off. Fucking whiskey.

There's no excuse for what I said last night. It wasn't much, but it wasn't nice. Especially the way I said it, leaving things out to imply something false, just to gauge your reaction. Your reply today when I apologized was so sweet. I'm an ass. It's that exact kind of behaviour that made it impossible for Murf and I to keep our friendship.

Friends are great. I don't know how I've spent most of my life not even realizing I had any, or seeing how much appreciation they deserve.

"Are you seeing J-- now?"
ha! No. I'm not seeing anybody. It'll be a long time before that sentence is relevant again.

"I'd never do this to Piggy in real life."
"This is still real life, it's just a screen."
Yeah, and it's even more real life than through a computer screen.

Oh, Seth.

Without quoting her, it has to be said that Emily's concern touches my heart. Although, she crushed me Saturday night when she rebutted my comment about my masculinity by telling me I was a textbook girl. I was still seeing myself as the boy I was before growing into womanhood.

Oh, what the hell, here' a quote from her that I love "there were too many ham sandwiches and all the sausages were Vienna."

Thanks friends. I love you all.

Four years ago I loved everyone, I got very accurate results from a silly internet toy, and I drank early in the afternoon.