There's something wrong with me today. It's really weird. I don't understand it and am finding it difficult to cope.
I'm laughing a lot. Not in a crazy, manic way. Just in the (what I think is the) normal, enjoying life way. Is it the beginning of happiness creeping in? Dare I get my hopes up for something that comes so easily to many people and has always been so elusive in my life, only ever showing me little glimpses and in spurts?
Laughter for me has usually had very specific causes or reasons. Even as I child, I didn't laugh a lot. Only if I was in a silly mood, if I found something truly hilarious (things that were just funny would only trigger a smile or chuckle), if I was trying to follow social rules and knew I should laugh at something. Once I reached a certain age, laughter was chemically induced.
I'm going to keep up this trend of enjoying my day and my own company. I will finish watching Degrassi, then shower. I haven't decided what I will do after that. Something involving relaxing. TV or reading in my newly (almost) clean room.
Last year The Hold began recording a new album (that is still unfinished).
I'm laughing a lot. Not in a crazy, manic way. Just in the (what I think is the) normal, enjoying life way. Is it the beginning of happiness creeping in? Dare I get my hopes up for something that comes so easily to many people and has always been so elusive in my life, only ever showing me little glimpses and in spurts?
Laughter for me has usually had very specific causes or reasons. Even as I child, I didn't laugh a lot. Only if I was in a silly mood, if I found something truly hilarious (things that were just funny would only trigger a smile or chuckle), if I was trying to follow social rules and knew I should laugh at something. Once I reached a certain age, laughter was chemically induced.
I'm going to keep up this trend of enjoying my day and my own company. I will finish watching Degrassi, then shower. I haven't decided what I will do after that. Something involving relaxing. TV or reading in my newly (almost) clean room.
Last year The Hold began recording a new album (that is still unfinished).
posted by crystal at
7:28 pm
5 Comments:
keep smiling
k
By
Anonymous, at 14/4/08 10:06 pm
Thanks! You too. You are smiling, right?
Also, I wanted to point out that much of the day I was laughing with myself, for my foolishness, and it felt a LOT better than laughing at myself.
By
crystal, at 15/4/08 8:08 pm
How rude of me to say that here. Maybe you're not smiling. You seem pretty good when I see you, but maybe you're pretending...Shit. That was rude to go there too. Sorry. I'm an open book. You know that.
By
crystal, at 16/4/08 6:43 pm
yes you r an open book, and i am not, but smiling isn't hard, believe me.
k
By
Anonymous, at 18/4/08 5:16 pm
Okay, I'll believe you. It makes my happy that you say that.
By
crystal, at 18/4/08 6:14 pm
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