The sadness overtook me at the grocery store. I hadn't eaten since yesterday's breakfast at Murray's, in New Brunswick. I did consume beer, whiskey, tequila, and gin rather quickly. I had a bit of coffee this morning and made arrangements to get some grocery money. Nancy drove me to the Superstore, but I went to Wendy's first. I was just going to get a burger and eat something else once I got home, but I was so hungry, I got the whole combo. Except once I had enough in my stomach to not be starving to death, I couldn't even finish my burger and had barely touched my fries. That's it, I was done. I've had that problem for a few months now and had gotten pretty used to going a whole work day without eating on any of my breaks. Grocery shopping reminds me of him. He loves grocery stores. I wandered around, trying to figure out what to get while trying not to vomit or cry. A guy who was at my house last night approached me to ask if he had done anything bad since he doesn't really even remember coming over. I told him I don't know what his definition of bad is, and that I was in second living room most of the time so I wasn't sure what he did. It helped me feel better to know that I'm far from the only fuck-up out there. I grabbed a few more items and walked home in a daze. I'm all over the place right now. I'm in a world of shit. I try to keep myself optimistic, but it's so hard. I got home, put my milk in the fridge, and went back to bed. When I got up, Ainsley asked if I was going to Reflections tonight. I shouldn't spend any money, but I don't know if I want to mope around here. Besides, I've still actually never seen VKNGS, amazing as that is, it's true. I've gone through a bunch of shit this year and didn't leave the house a lot unless a show involved me. Or him. Everything's so weird.