I'm sad this morning. I can't quite explain it. It seems to have come mostly from nowhere. Mostly. I need to dry my tears so I can go say hello to my step-mother and pour myself some coffee. the trip is going okay. Some parts of it are really hard on me. But it'll get better. Except for this morning, I'm much happier than I had been for awhile and he seems to be as well, minus the confused and down parts. It'll probably be awhile before I stop thinking of how things used to be and how sad it is that I couldn't get back to it. No, as I said last year when I started to lose my mind, things can't go backwards.

I had a dream last night that is very very rare to me. I had plenty of other dreams last night, too. Haunted. I think I've mentioned over on the dream journal (that I've neglected for a long time) that I don't really have sex dreams. Intimacy, hanging out, holding hands, snuggling, kisses, video games, all yes, but sex no. Usually if I dream about getting off, I'm doing it to myself. The only sex dream before last night's that comes to mind was lesbian sex.

Maybe this is why I woke up sad.

Last year I was miserable. Fucking circles.