I'm really enjoying the new Walkman. It's my first one. I've had tape players and CD players, but never actual Walkman brand. A very young me is very happy. Maybe now that I've finally gotten past my childhood disappointment, I can take a few more steps forward so to speak. Lately I've been going in circles not knowing which exit to take off the roundabout. I take the wrong one and get back on the roundabout to try again. The wall I've been constructing my whole life in an attempt to not feel things so intensely is crumbling. In the end, that's probably a good thing because I built it too well and found it hard sometimes to feel anything at all. But it hurts.

Anyway, the Walkman. There's still a lot of stuff on there I haven't listened to yet. Today started with Chaos UK, then the Dickies. I think it'll be some nice Red House Painters to help me drift (or cry) into sleep:

Over My Head

some odd door
some blooming tree
senseless and awkward
feeling hard uneased
sleep in rooms where people leave
dry of gentleness
of life
of breeze

sometimes you get so alone without a friend
it's hard to know who you are
and to pretend
little lights reaching over my head
shiny sinks to let myself out in

and you won't call to say it's all right
'cause you know it lasts all night
you know you should be at home
where it's good to be tired
under a roof that you know
that we're inside

some odd door
off-white painted sills
faded pictures gathered round me still

and I know what you face in the night
and I know you'll be alright