I am so happy for my cousin. She was my best friend most of my life and we were the closest thing either of us had to a sibling. She couldn't make it to my wedding, and I can't make it to hers. It's today. I just talked to a bunch of the family, and I'm told it's a beautiful day there today. Michelle and Graham have always seemed so great together. I just hope she doesn't fall into the habits and mistakes that most of the women in our family have made. Mistakes I swore I'd learn from instead of repeating. Well, I tried.

But her father and her sisters are coming to the wedding. You can't believe how happy that makes me. If I can't be there, at least I can smile knowing that she is finally connecting with a side of her family that she pretty much never knew.

My mother is going to be here in a couple of days. I haven't seen her in almost two years. I'm very excited but I'm also very nervous. We are going to play paparazzi with her purse dogs. It will be great.

There's a lot to be happy about now, and that's good. I need the distraction. It's so hard for me to have to be a liar. I'm not looking for sympathy in that. I don't deserve it. Lying is one of my most hated things. That's why it's not easy. I usually am as honest as I claim to be. But at least I'm being honest with the person that it affects the most. And a couple other friends. I should probably delete this last paragraph. But I don't care.

Three years ago, I wanted to express affection for my friends, and wanted to point out that I'm not a lesbian.