I'm delirious. And cranky. The sun is struggling to come out, but I'm so cranky even that makes me angry. I woke up pretty stabby today. It's made worse by failure. I smoked last night. But, it's easy to fail when you don't even try. I made it until about 20 after 8. When the decision was made to go to the jam spot, I decided I'd have a few. Public is hard. I know I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I have to, but I know myself (even if I convince myself I don't) and I don't want to yell at people I like. I've done that a bit today. So, I left the house. Yesterday, I watched all of the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and the first two episodes of the Office (the original one). Soon, I'm going to pick up where I left off. Maybe I'll yell some more, but I'll try not to. Hysteria.