Blah blah blah, blah blah blahblah.
What's the point?
I used to love conversation. I used to be kind of good at it. I really enjoyed just talking to people and listening to them in return. I liked learning things and admitting I was wrong or mistaken. I liked telling people things they didn't know. We could talk about similar interests and just enjoy each other's company. Or, we could discuss and debate things. Topics on which we have drastically different opinions. It can be so thrilling to try to understand why someone thinks the way they do. To try to show each other a glimpse of a different point of view. We may agree to disagree in the end, but we'll be better off for having discussed it.
But, I've been reminded that people would just rather me sit pretty and keep my mouth shut. Speak when spoken to, but only to nod in agreement. Do not show any signs of thought.
People don't hear me. Or, when they do, they miss the point.
Is there a point of talking if the point of everything you've said flies past (but not necessarily above) your listener's head?
I can't see one.
Conversation is sometimes referred to as an art, and I've never been much of an artist.
What's the point?
I used to love conversation. I used to be kind of good at it. I really enjoyed just talking to people and listening to them in return. I liked learning things and admitting I was wrong or mistaken. I liked telling people things they didn't know. We could talk about similar interests and just enjoy each other's company. Or, we could discuss and debate things. Topics on which we have drastically different opinions. It can be so thrilling to try to understand why someone thinks the way they do. To try to show each other a glimpse of a different point of view. We may agree to disagree in the end, but we'll be better off for having discussed it.
But, I've been reminded that people would just rather me sit pretty and keep my mouth shut. Speak when spoken to, but only to nod in agreement. Do not show any signs of thought.
People don't hear me. Or, when they do, they miss the point.
Is there a point of talking if the point of everything you've said flies past (but not necessarily above) your listener's head?
I can't see one.
Conversation is sometimes referred to as an art, and I've never been much of an artist.
posted by crystal at
11:44 pm
6 Comments:
Right now where I am, people pay a lot of $$$ for you to blah blah blah, conversations and such.
So when I get back to Canadiana and I talk to people, I will be handing out bills left and right to strangers that want to crank out small talk about the weather or the Canadian Hockey team in Turin at the bus stops.
Reading this will cost you 25 cents. Thanks for your solicitation.
By
ling-ling san, at 7/3/06 1:26 pm
'K. I'll give you a quarter when you come back, if you come back.
But I hate small talk. I mean actual conversations. With depth. Or do people just drunkenly ramble all the time? I do.
By
crystal, at 9/3/06 1:17 am
I like how you genuinely consider what people say to you and how you say what you genuinely think. Lately I've been talking to a lot of people who just try to come up with a retort (if it's a debate) or something clever/funny (otherwise), without thinking very hard about what the other person's said or about what they believe themselves. Yeah, if conversation is an art, I tend to prefer conversationalists with sincerity as opposed to skill.
By
Anonymous, at 16/3/06 12:27 am
Thanks. I do genuinely consider what people say. Sometimes, I don't grasp the volume of what was said until later, and sometimes I consider things (negative and/or confusing things) too much. I don't always say what I genuinely think. Well, I mean, sometimes I say the opposite of what I really believe, as a genuine response to what I heard. Like, to play devil's advocate.
But I don't always say what I mean when emotions get involved.
You mention skill. But, is conversation an art or a craft? Is a person skilled or talented at it?
By
crystal, at 17/3/06 12:31 am
This whole post exists because of one car ride where I was cranky. People don't know how to respond to someone who's as sour as I was. I felt like everything I said was the conversation ender, and if people had just continued to discuss things, maybe my bad mood would've dissipated. But, KC explained to me later how hateful everything I said sounded. I know how they must've felt. I've been there with family members before, I it's definitely hard to know what to say.
By
crystal, at 25/3/06 12:42 pm
"You mention skill. But, is conversation an art or a craft? Is a person skilled or talented at it?"
Hm, that's a good point. I suppose people can be skilled or talented at conversation; but using that kind of skill more often leads to shallowness, I think. I mean, it's handy if you're at a party talking to a circle of people you're not really friends with--in that case, it can be useful in averting awkward silences.
But in normal situations with friends, I don't think any skill or talent should be exercised. I feel like there's some deep reason why, but I can't put my finger on it. It's something like, you're not _yourself_ in the right way when you're exercising a skill. You're trying to accomplish something rather than just present yourself as you actually are. Sorry, that sounds a little obscure...
Talking to family is a whole other story. That is definitely a skill.
By
Anonymous, at 25/3/06 1:55 pm
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