I'm finally going to make some changes in my life. Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I can't blame you. I wouldn't believe me, either. I barely do believe myself. But it's never going to happen if I can't say it with conviction. I do mean it. But, I've said it and meant it before. My problem is actually putting in the effort. It always reaches a point where it stops being fun for everyone involved, except the people laughing at me. And that point is around 1:30 a.m. It wasn't fun when I was 18. It's certainly not fun 8 years later. It's time for me to grow up and be grateful for what I have, stop worrying about what I don't have, and gain some control. I always lose control. I remember most of the topics I talked about, but not most of what was said. I remember talking to Emily, and I mean it. I thought about it before that day. I don't know what she thinks of it, though.. I would've spent the last few days banging my head against a wall, if my head wasn't sore enough from bouncing it of the asphalt.