I still want to make some changes in my life. But, I never put enough serious effort into it. I think it's hopeless. Things will never change.
 
I don't want my fridge to smell the way it does.
I don't want my apartment to be covered in clothing and scattered papers.
I don't want to keep losing things.
I don't want to keep forgetting the end of the night.
I don't want wake up all the time feeling the leftover poison in my veins, and cranky.
I don't want talk about myself so much.
I don't want people to not like me.