I'm so fucking depressed right now. That always happens when I'm broke. I know money can't buy happiness, but it sure fucking sucks not having ANY!
I just got back from the grocery store, where I bumped into my new neighbour, Melissa (I love Allan Street). My purse was heavy as I made the trek to the Quinpool Center. In my purse were 2 rolls of dimes, 3 rolls of nickels, and 6 rolls of pennies. That equals my last 19 dollars. Good thing I throw my change in that old wine jug. I came home with 7 dollars left, along with the cat food, cat litter, spaghetti sauce, margarine, Five Alive, and bananas I'd purchased.
I hate having to ask my mom for money, especially when it ends up being just enough for rent and I'm still rolling up dirty coins for some food. In the last couple days, I've eaten canned turkey, Mr. Noodles, oatmeal, and some potato chips. Of course, there would have been more money for food if it weren't for alcoholism. Think of the Mr. Noodles I could've purchased with the money I spent on Sangria yesterday. But it felt good to drink that swill last night. Helped me pretend I wasn't piss-poor. I mean, I was drinking wine.
To make matters worse, I still haven't started looking for a job. I almost finished my resume today. It's a piece of crap, but then again, so am I, and I'll only be using it to apply for jobs that are crap. I would've completed it except for my problem with references. I realized I didn't know how to spell Darlene's last name, and that really, I only have 2 references. They recommend you give at least 3. I haven't been able to motivate myself to hunt for crap when it's raining out and I'm malnourished.
I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD COFFEE TODAY!!! That makes me crazy.
On the bright side, I've really been enjoying this no school thing. I've had all these things building up inside, and now I've had the opportunity to do some sewing and much painting. That feels wonderful.
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The weekend was pretty decent. I was in some pain after FAXE hands, and so wasn't in the mood for much Friday night. I did 5 loads of laundry at the Bluenose. It was nice out, so I sat on the steps and watched people. I never took the time to slow down at that intersection before, but it's a very interesting place to watch people. Ended up renting a Trailer Park Boys DVD and watching half of the third season.
Drock called on Saturday. Colleen and Al were in PEI with Flagshipsinker, he was already drinking, and it was nice out, so he called to invite us to a barbeque. We splurged on an 8-pack and found our way to the South-End. I didn't exactly expect to not know ANYONE there, but it was a good time. As soon as we got through the door, Drock and some guy, Mike (who was in the Shitheads) offered up some burgers. I was surprised that Derek was offering me a burger made of beef, but someone else had brought them. In the backyard grilling them up, Drock says "I hope you all die of that cow disease. I'll laugh." It was much appreciated to have some free food. I thought I'd opted out of food when I bought beer. A ketchup/mustard mixture dribbled onto my jacket, very close to a stain left by Alfred's blood. The people were nice enough, and I got into some fairly interesting conversations with some of them. I never thought I'd have someone ask me who my favourite thinkers were. Ugg, that was the topic of the philosophy classes I dropped. I only really took a few first and second year courses, and Logic was the only class I excelled in. I can only remember names of a few: Descartes, Spinoza, Newton, Hobbes. The dogs were much of my entertainment, as I ended up sitting on the floor. They kept crawling on top of me, trying to get everyone's beer. They managed to spill KC's at least once, and lick as much of it off the carpet as they could before it soaked in. My newly clean jeans soaked the rest up, and now the knees are pretty brown. I got embarrassed for the first time in awhile that night. It involved the slow-filling toilet. First time I use the toilet, it doesn't flush. FUCK!! I'm on my period. No one wants to look at my bloody-rag-piss all night. So I take the lid off the back of the toilet and there's no water inside. Then there's a knock on the door and a girl is asking me if I'll be long. I say no, and keep trying to get the damn thing to work. Finally, I pop my head out the door and say "I can't get it to flush, and it's gross; I'm on my period." We introduce ourselves AFTER she helps me fill the back up with water from the sink and bathtub. People I knew started showing up as I was running out of beer. I bought one off Jared and KC bummed a few from different people. I saw Katy for the first time in ages, and that was nice. A little after midnight, I was outta beer and people were having more fun with each other than with me, so KC and I packed up and went home, to watch more Trailer Park Boys.
I don't really remember Sunday, except I know I spent a lot of time redesigning Target: Monkey. When he went to help Paul a bit (he's working at Yo Rodeo! for his work-term), I looked around. I checked out this site by the only person to ever comment on id dreams. Through exploring his links, I found one that I found rather interesting. Wil Wheaton. I thought, "nah, can't really be him." It is. Growing up with the Trekkie parents I had, I knew who he was right away. He played Wesley on the Next Generation. He was also in one of my favourite movies, Stand By Me. I haven't perused his site much, just the "if this is your first time here..." and faq's. He might even read this someday, after I email him to tell him I linked him (that's what he asks, and I suppose it's fair). That night, more Trailer Park Boys.
Yesterday, I painted a lot, sewed a bit, and ate crap.
Today, besides the grocery store and the resume, I talked some political stuff for Much Music. I'm for gay marriage. I think marriage in general is silly, but people should be able to love who they want. So if they want to get married, they should be able to. I don't see how legalizing pot is any different than having alcohol legal. Controlling the substance would make it safer for users. They will know it's not laced. The government could tax it and put the money into health care. Government should put more money into schools so the schools don't feel they have to raise tuition all the time. And what's with the student loan program. It's supposed to help us, but the rates are so high, by the time you pay it back, you will probably pay back twice as much as what you borrowed. THEN, I got to hold the Much Music mic and say "I'm Crystal _____, here in Halifax, and my question is for Stephen Harper. What are you going to do about the rising tuition?" or some garbage. They said I was well spoken, but I felt like I sounded like and idiot.
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Now, my stomach is eating itself and I have to call my mom to tell her I got the money, thanks, and we should be fine as KC's getting paid on Friday. I don't really want to call her when I'm depressed. The last time, the conversation went a little too far in a certain direction. But I was supposed to call her yesterday. It's the least I could do.
I just got back from the grocery store, where I bumped into my new neighbour, Melissa (I love Allan Street). My purse was heavy as I made the trek to the Quinpool Center. In my purse were 2 rolls of dimes, 3 rolls of nickels, and 6 rolls of pennies. That equals my last 19 dollars. Good thing I throw my change in that old wine jug. I came home with 7 dollars left, along with the cat food, cat litter, spaghetti sauce, margarine, Five Alive, and bananas I'd purchased.
I hate having to ask my mom for money, especially when it ends up being just enough for rent and I'm still rolling up dirty coins for some food. In the last couple days, I've eaten canned turkey, Mr. Noodles, oatmeal, and some potato chips. Of course, there would have been more money for food if it weren't for alcoholism. Think of the Mr. Noodles I could've purchased with the money I spent on Sangria yesterday. But it felt good to drink that swill last night. Helped me pretend I wasn't piss-poor. I mean, I was drinking wine.
To make matters worse, I still haven't started looking for a job. I almost finished my resume today. It's a piece of crap, but then again, so am I, and I'll only be using it to apply for jobs that are crap. I would've completed it except for my problem with references. I realized I didn't know how to spell Darlene's last name, and that really, I only have 2 references. They recommend you give at least 3. I haven't been able to motivate myself to hunt for crap when it's raining out and I'm malnourished.
I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD COFFEE TODAY!!! That makes me crazy.
On the bright side, I've really been enjoying this no school thing. I've had all these things building up inside, and now I've had the opportunity to do some sewing and much painting. That feels wonderful.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The weekend was pretty decent. I was in some pain after FAXE hands, and so wasn't in the mood for much Friday night. I did 5 loads of laundry at the Bluenose. It was nice out, so I sat on the steps and watched people. I never took the time to slow down at that intersection before, but it's a very interesting place to watch people. Ended up renting a Trailer Park Boys DVD and watching half of the third season.
Drock called on Saturday. Colleen and Al were in PEI with Flagshipsinker, he was already drinking, and it was nice out, so he called to invite us to a barbeque. We splurged on an 8-pack and found our way to the South-End. I didn't exactly expect to not know ANYONE there, but it was a good time. As soon as we got through the door, Drock and some guy, Mike (who was in the Shitheads) offered up some burgers. I was surprised that Derek was offering me a burger made of beef, but someone else had brought them. In the backyard grilling them up, Drock says "I hope you all die of that cow disease. I'll laugh." It was much appreciated to have some free food. I thought I'd opted out of food when I bought beer. A ketchup/mustard mixture dribbled onto my jacket, very close to a stain left by Alfred's blood. The people were nice enough, and I got into some fairly interesting conversations with some of them. I never thought I'd have someone ask me who my favourite thinkers were. Ugg, that was the topic of the philosophy classes I dropped. I only really took a few first and second year courses, and Logic was the only class I excelled in. I can only remember names of a few: Descartes, Spinoza, Newton, Hobbes. The dogs were much of my entertainment, as I ended up sitting on the floor. They kept crawling on top of me, trying to get everyone's beer. They managed to spill KC's at least once, and lick as much of it off the carpet as they could before it soaked in. My newly clean jeans soaked the rest up, and now the knees are pretty brown. I got embarrassed for the first time in awhile that night. It involved the slow-filling toilet. First time I use the toilet, it doesn't flush. FUCK!! I'm on my period. No one wants to look at my bloody-rag-piss all night. So I take the lid off the back of the toilet and there's no water inside. Then there's a knock on the door and a girl is asking me if I'll be long. I say no, and keep trying to get the damn thing to work. Finally, I pop my head out the door and say "I can't get it to flush, and it's gross; I'm on my period." We introduce ourselves AFTER she helps me fill the back up with water from the sink and bathtub. People I knew started showing up as I was running out of beer. I bought one off Jared and KC bummed a few from different people. I saw Katy for the first time in ages, and that was nice. A little after midnight, I was outta beer and people were having more fun with each other than with me, so KC and I packed up and went home, to watch more Trailer Park Boys.
I don't really remember Sunday, except I know I spent a lot of time redesigning Target: Monkey. When he went to help Paul a bit (he's working at Yo Rodeo! for his work-term), I looked around. I checked out this site by the only person to ever comment on id dreams. Through exploring his links, I found one that I found rather interesting. Wil Wheaton. I thought, "nah, can't really be him." It is. Growing up with the Trekkie parents I had, I knew who he was right away. He played Wesley on the Next Generation. He was also in one of my favourite movies, Stand By Me. I haven't perused his site much, just the "if this is your first time here..." and faq's. He might even read this someday, after I email him to tell him I linked him (that's what he asks, and I suppose it's fair). That night, more Trailer Park Boys.
Yesterday, I painted a lot, sewed a bit, and ate crap.
Today, besides the grocery store and the resume, I talked some political stuff for Much Music. I'm for gay marriage. I think marriage in general is silly, but people should be able to love who they want. So if they want to get married, they should be able to. I don't see how legalizing pot is any different than having alcohol legal. Controlling the substance would make it safer for users. They will know it's not laced. The government could tax it and put the money into health care. Government should put more money into schools so the schools don't feel they have to raise tuition all the time. And what's with the student loan program. It's supposed to help us, but the rates are so high, by the time you pay it back, you will probably pay back twice as much as what you borrowed. THEN, I got to hold the Much Music mic and say "I'm Crystal _____, here in Halifax, and my question is for Stephen Harper. What are you going to do about the rising tuition?" or some garbage. They said I was well spoken, but I felt like I sounded like and idiot.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, my stomach is eating itself and I have to call my mom to tell her I got the money, thanks, and we should be fine as KC's getting paid on Friday. I don't really want to call her when I'm depressed. The last time, the conversation went a little too far in a certain direction. But I was supposed to call her yesterday. It's the least I could do.
posted by crystal at
3:45 pm
8 Comments:
Richness and poorness always seem to follow the same schedule in this city. By that, I mean that I've noticed a pattern amongst the people I've known over the years that generally, we're all rich or poor at the same time.
By
crystal, at 31/8/04 10:20 pm
www.rupaul.com/weblog.shtml
I'm really fucking poor right now too. BUT I have a job interview tommorow at a Pub! Yesssss.
-Janice
By
Anonymous, at 31/8/04 10:21 pm
OH
MY
GOD
It doesn't hit home as much as Wil Wheaton did, but WOW!!
Yay for the job interview.
By
crystal, at 31/8/04 10:22 pm
true, true,
But his cat is sick. I haven't checked the archives, but I'd write about my cat if he were sick. I do, however, like the "yeah, yeha, bitches, whatever" content on rupaul's blog.
ps-I don't mean Wil Wheaton's content hits home...but just him, in general.
By
crystal, at 31/8/04 10:23 pm
I like your political arguments. I've always agreed with the views you express, but I agree even more now that I live in the US where the criminalization of pot is way more enforced (causing a constant draught), gays are way more persecuted (people like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson--who are considered wingnuts in Canada--are actually mainstream in the US), over 20% of the population has no health care WHATSOEVER, and tuition at a school of the caliber of Dalhousie would be $15,000-25,000/year.
On the topic of how gays are viewed by mainstream christians in the US: http://leiterreports.typepad.com/blog/2006/05/christian_fasci.html
I just can't get over the fact that evangelicals are the largest religious group down there and that these fascists really do represent them...
By
Anonymous, at 23/5/06 4:04 pm
The link I tried to post is:
http://leiterreports.typepad.com/blog/2006/05/
christian_fasci.html
By
Anonymous, at 23/5/06 4:06 pm
(If you're interested, you have to copy the first line of the URL in the above poste, paste it, then add the second line to the end of the first line in the URL bar. I do think it's a particularly disturbing article...)
By
Anonymous, at 23/5/06 4:09 pm
Your comments were emailed to me, but it took me a bit to figure out where you had left them.
I never used to consider myself very political, but I've been realizing recently that I do have some very strong views. I didn't give much support for my arguments in this post, I was trying to sum up the stuff I stammered into the camera.
I have to work now, but I will re-read your comments and re-reply later.
By
crystal, at 26/5/06 3:55 pm
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