This Decemeber has been pretty sad as far as plans or friends or holiday parties go. Then again, it's been a pretty rough year so this holiday month is topping off the year perfectly in a sense.

First letdown was the work party. Though much of the blame falls on myself. I've been to legions before. I know there's a good chance the bar will be cash only.

But for some reason I went with it. They didn't mention anything about it in the multiple emails. So I get there with only a credit card and an empty bank account. My partner emailed me some money but by the time I got it, the ATM upstairs (that was so ancient it was exactly like the one we had at Paper Chase) was empty.

Only one person from my department was there. The one I told to shut the fuck up last year. She was nice and we sat together. Everybody else sat with their own departments or cliques. Even the people I've had work relationships with didn't say hi to me. But to be fair, I didn't say hi to them and I probably looked cranky from not loving the food and not being able to get a beer.

So I left right after the trivia and door prizes, wandered around Fairview until a bus came to take me home.

Then the following week, I had many tentative things to do. I did see The Last Jedi with the steps. I did not hang out with a friend in town from Liverpool. I did not go to the Hole cover band show. I had no interest in the Dinosaur Jr cover band except that it would be fun if I was already there. If Hole had been paired off with someone I haven't seen live, someone who's amps I haven't leaned on, I might have had more motivation to go. As well, facebook told me the Liverpool friend was interested in the show so I figured we'd talk about it when we met up.

There was also an unofficial work party that night. With management. I should have gone to schmooze a bit. But after the rotten time I had at the legion, and with the Liverpudlian and Hole covers potentially happening, I scratched that off the list.

So I got drunk with a handful of guys in our smoke filled shed. It was an alright time.

I was too mopey to consider the cookie party the next day. But when I got the invite, I'd really wanted to go.

Already this week I've had to cancel our plans to jam because shit happened/is going to happen at work and I need to do overtime on the days that aren't holidays. And I missed out on having beers with some old friends last night because of my need for OT and my hubby's work schedule.

Maybe I'll do something fun this weekend. Maybe I won't go through the rest of the month feeling like I'm missing out on life. Maybe I'll have stronger relationships and more solidified plans next year.

Probably not.

Bye diary. Thanks for letting me lament once in awhile.