Hi Blogger. I might need you again. I've wanted you for awhile. I've missed since we last hung out. But I've never really known how to rekindle our relationship.

Back then, I was young. I was careless, crazy, passionate. I was fun. Or at least I thought I was. I used you to express the many things that went on in my mind and tell stories of my party days.

I used you to try to be cool. I'd been a loser my whole life and the cool kids were paying attention to me. I used you to express things no one wanted to listen to me yammer on about in real life. I used you to feel close to a crush.

I've spent the last seven years enjoying and building a life I love, with a man I love, in a city I love.

Except for crazy awesome fun party or tour or sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll stories (minus much of the sex and the drugs), I didn't really have much to say when I was happy, which is a big reason for the hiatus.

Another reason is because I wanted some distance from you. I started other blogs. I thought about what I wanted them to be about. I wanted to write, but I wanted to share it and I didn't want new readers to have access to the old stuff.

I realized I'm not interesting so there's no point in sharing it out to the masses and that I really only care about what a few new readers might think and that I'm comfortable enough with myself and my relationships with them now to let them read it if they want and that this is a long, stupid sentence. Besides, I sold out and edited away a lot of that stuff when my ex's mom found this place.

"Need" might not be the right word. It implies that I'm feeling crazy, upset, invisible; that I'm in a bad relationship or have a crush I expect to read this and I want to impress.

None of that is true. I just miss writing about my boring life and want this to serve as my memories if the time comes that I can't access them in my brain anymore.  Or something.

I've tried keeping journals. It doesn't work. The attention whore in me needs it this way.

So, I thought I'd come home.

This may be a homecoming post. It may be a "hey I want to write again" but then I never do post.

Only time will tell.