no no no no no

I hope what I felt yesterday was rock bottom. Things can't get worse. Well, they could, but I couldn't handle if they did. If I didn't hit bottom, I am close and was lucky enough to land on a plateau to climb up from.

I had a lot of fun the other night, but I'm not without shame. I can't believe myself.

Am I ever really going to do the things I want to do, change the things I want to change, be the person I want to be? I guess, starting now, I'm going to give it another try. As long as I don't give up, I'll make progress. Looking back to a year ago, I am happy with where I've gone, but it's disappointing to still have so far to go. Starting the new year feeling like a turd is probably exactly what I needed. I'm determined to wake up a year from now and actually like myself. Maybe even be proud. Onwards and upwards from here.

shit