I'm failing.

I'm going into hibernation mode without having settled into the routine of life.

I sleep until three. I wake up a few times throughout the morning, but it's chilly and I don't want to get out from under the covers.

I check the internet and make and drink coffee, while smoking cheap cigarettes. My hands get cold. I think about digging through boxes in my room. I think about what I'd like to make to eat with the ingredients I own. I light another cigarette. I suppose I have a date with Jin soon. Or Nina. Or maybe even Steve.

I tried to cook last week. During the month in Europe I remembered that hard boiled eggs are alright. I decided I could make myself the breakfast I enjoyed over there. The eggs with some coffee, some juice, some yogurt, muesli and, in Norway, a multivitamin. I grabbed a pot and noticed it seemed oddly heavy. It was two pots and in an attempt to cook eggs, I melted the solder on the bottom pot. Yet, I used to be a breakfast cook. I don't understand why I can do things for others, but if it's for myself, I couldn't be bothered.

Four years ago I took a flight.