Who am I fooling? Working on myself? Getting to know myself? Yeah right. More like obsessing. Thinking about myself too much. Only seeing things from my perspective. Over-analyzing what someone said to me or how they looked at me. Wondering why. What I could've/should've done/said differently to not cause them to look at me like that. Sorting through junk is not going to tell me who I am. The photos and newspaper clippings are just representative of a certain time or place. One thing that I did one time. They don't define me (although, when I'm gone, it'll be how descendants learn who I was). And it's not like I have no idea who I am, it's just that I'm so boring I think there's gotta be more to me somewhere.

I'm finally getting comfortable with who I am, but I'm realizing that most people don't like who I really am.

Or at least that I feel I don't deserve to be liked.

It really seems sometimes that you don't like me. Of course you deny it when I bring it up. I suppose you can like me, but not like some things about me. But we never want to go out at the same time, we never want to hang out with the same people, you're tired of my negativity, and you are far too concerned with how I "represent" myself. I'd hoped you would be concerned about my injuries from a show a month ago. Instead, you were concerned with how I reacted to it (but maybe, if someone cared, I wouldn't have felt like making a scene).

I need to try harder to paste fake plastic smiles on my face. Normal people think there's something wrong if you don't have a grin plastered on your fucking face all the time.

Two years ago, I failed to get up early.