[Written at work, October 28]
Hearing loss. People are so rude about it. Yes, it's my fault that I've only recently, and inconsistently, started wearing ear plugs in my many years of attending and playing shows. But it is not my fault I had repeated ear infections as a child, resulting in my left eardrum rupturing around the age of 4 or 5.
It is also not my fault I don't know when to listen. After a lifetime of hearing everything loudly and persistently, things like the hum of fluorescent lightbulbs (and the sound of the tube working inside televisions, the cat purring even across the room, the tap dripping on the other side of the house, or a different floor [this one time, the sound of flowing water kept me up. When I finally got out of my bed and followed the sound I found it was the sound of the water going through the filter in the fish tank upstairs in the living room...through a closed door, and through the kitchen.], etc, etc), all the little things most people just don't even notice or tune out, my mind has forced me to tune most things out. I can't tell you how many times, for example, I've argued with KC (and my parents, and many other people) that "I didn't know...!" Only to have them respond with "well, I told you. Don't you remember?" Well, did I know you were talking to me? Did I look at you? Did I respond, indicating that I had heard and understood you? No? Well, then it's not that I forgot, but that I didn't hear you in the first place.
Now, I'll just tell you a story of something that happened at work the other day. Something that reminded me how rude people can be when it comes to hearing loss and listening difficulties. It was a slow evening. I was doing paperwork at the end of the counter, taking breaks from it when there were customers. A lady walks in and asks me a question, before I get a chance to finish my thought and greet her. I knew she said something about milk, but I didn't hear the full question. "I'm sorry, what was that?" I ask, thinking she would kindly repeat the question. Boy was I wrong. She repeated the question alright, but certainly not kindly. How do I put it into words? She said everything slowly making sure to enunciate and stare into my eyes (an act I find rather aggressive). "DO...you HAVE...small (making a hand gesture for small) conTAINers of... MIL...LKK!?!" Trying not to shake, I replied "Why yes, right over here." I was nice to her, I showed her the milk (why couldn't she just LOOK in the fridges?), but secretly I tried to get it done as quickly as possible. She really hurt me. It's my ears I have problems with, not my intelligence.
{I know. She probably wasn't aware she was being rude. I'm not aware of how often I'm perceived as rude. I love everything about my job except for dealing with people. I even really enjoy a lot of the people. I don't know how long I can keep smiling. Well, I guess I haven't been lately.}
This day two years ago, I started pistolwhip, my first blog ever.
Hearing loss. People are so rude about it. Yes, it's my fault that I've only recently, and inconsistently, started wearing ear plugs in my many years of attending and playing shows. But it is not my fault I had repeated ear infections as a child, resulting in my left eardrum rupturing around the age of 4 or 5.
It is also not my fault I don't know when to listen. After a lifetime of hearing everything loudly and persistently, things like the hum of fluorescent lightbulbs (and the sound of the tube working inside televisions, the cat purring even across the room, the tap dripping on the other side of the house, or a different floor [this one time, the sound of flowing water kept me up. When I finally got out of my bed and followed the sound I found it was the sound of the water going through the filter in the fish tank upstairs in the living room...through a closed door, and through the kitchen.], etc, etc), all the little things most people just don't even notice or tune out, my mind has forced me to tune most things out. I can't tell you how many times, for example, I've argued with KC (and my parents, and many other people) that "I didn't know...!" Only to have them respond with "well, I told you. Don't you remember?" Well, did I know you were talking to me? Did I look at you? Did I respond, indicating that I had heard and understood you? No? Well, then it's not that I forgot, but that I didn't hear you in the first place.
Now, I'll just tell you a story of something that happened at work the other day. Something that reminded me how rude people can be when it comes to hearing loss and listening difficulties. It was a slow evening. I was doing paperwork at the end of the counter, taking breaks from it when there were customers. A lady walks in and asks me a question, before I get a chance to finish my thought and greet her. I knew she said something about milk, but I didn't hear the full question. "I'm sorry, what was that?" I ask, thinking she would kindly repeat the question. Boy was I wrong. She repeated the question alright, but certainly not kindly. How do I put it into words? She said everything slowly making sure to enunciate and stare into my eyes (an act I find rather aggressive). "DO...you HAVE...small (making a hand gesture for small) conTAINers of... MIL...LKK!?!" Trying not to shake, I replied "Why yes, right over here." I was nice to her, I showed her the milk (why couldn't she just LOOK in the fridges?), but secretly I tried to get it done as quickly as possible. She really hurt me. It's my ears I have problems with, not my intelligence.
{I know. She probably wasn't aware she was being rude. I'm not aware of how often I'm perceived as rude. I love everything about my job except for dealing with people. I even really enjoy a lot of the people. I don't know how long I can keep smiling. Well, I guess I haven't been lately.}
This day two years ago, I started pistolwhip, my first blog ever.
posted by crystal at
12:34 am
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