"Why don't you just be pistolwhip?"

Okay, I know when that was said to me, the person posing the question was suggesting a username for online poker (that I haven't yet played with them), but it got me thinking. I gotta face the facts. I'm an attention-craving lunatic and my new blog isn't cutting it for me. Yes, I lost my mind a bit this summer. Yes, I got tired of people knowing things (that I myself posted). Yes, what I really hated was the people, who don't know me, using the stuff here to judge me (I also hate that I really hurt someone I love). But, that's bound to happen. People are fucking judgmental. I've mulled this over for quite awhile. This was my happy little home for over a year and a half and I'm homesick. I may never be a card-carrying swordfight member (although I was invited to join a long, long time ago), but that's okay. I'm not a good enough writer for that. I'm just a troubled girl who says things, most of the times, things I shouldn't've said. In fact, hardly nobody at work is talking to me today, because last night I said something I shouldn't've. An acquaintance told me I could make it better. I guess I could. But, even though I went too far and exaggerated (I always do when I'm upset about something) I don't really want to apologize. I didn't mean to hurt anybody, but to express that I was hurting. I disagree with the way I went about it, but not with what it was. Oh well.