"Nose rings are for punks" says the little boy after showing us his Spider Man costume. He can't be older than five. At first, I thought he was referring to my tiny turquoise stud. I looked at him, looked at my outfit, the tattoos sticking out of my t-shirt, thought of my hair and my band and said "yeah, I guess you're right." Then I realized he probably meant the huge septum ring my coworker has. Or maybe both of us. I thought to myself "what's his point?" It's possible his father was getting him to distract us so he could steal. It's also possible that this child is what my mother-in-law uses to describe my cat: "personality plus."

She wants to know why she's given half her life to people she hates now.

Last weekend was great, although I missed two shows I'd wanted to go to. It was good that I kept up with my original goal of hibernating this month. A goal I failed at the week before when I ended up at Africa's party of the year. I'm such a twit. With her changing her name to Africa, I want to change mine to Alaska. That's just because I've been hearing Stephanie Says too often at work.

But she's not afraid to die
The people all call her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her
'Cause it's all in her mind.

Friday, much to my excitement and pleasure, Mark Feindel came over. His fiance didn't. It was so great to see him again. That was the first (or possibly second) time we've seen him since that spontaneous visit in August, before our tour. I've really missed the guy, and his woman. I love them and 2004 was a tough year only seeing them twice after February. In fact, Friday was 365 days after I found out he was quitting the bands. There are some people you can go months or years without seeing or speaking to, but when you get together again, it's like you just hung out yesterday.

We talked, fun stuff and important stuff, we drank, he fidgeted while we smoked. We listened to music, showed him some Hold footage, and watched some of the Office. I'm glad KC loves my Christmas present to him so much. I've seen the show so many times now, as he shows it to everyone that walks through our apartment doors. From everything Mark told us, I'm very happy for him and Jenn. Well, from most of what he said. Some things I could be judgmental about, but if it works for them (although, if he's complaining, is it working?) then I'm happy for them. He did admit that he misses the music like crazy, but he's made a decision and needs to stick to it.

He also told us that someone we know, someone close to us, tried to kill himself in December. Well, he didn't exactly "try." He was so close, that if he had tried, he would've succeeded, unless by some fluke chance he could survive a shotgun blast through the mouth. He had problems with his girl. He always did, we all knew. We couldn't understand why he lived with this psycho, abused (but not by him, to my knowledge), SIXTEEN year old girl. But he did. And he loved her, in his crazy, coked out mind. Anyway, he found out that she cheated on him, again. He flipped out and got really drunk. He told Mark he was really drunk, which means he was probably really drunk and stoned. He got his hands on a shotgun. At home, he sat down. He had the butt of the gun of the floor, and the barrell in his mouth. His finger was on the trigger. He'd be gone in a matter of seconds.

So what happened? Well, you'll need a bit of a backstory. He has a good friend whose brother jumped off one of the bridges in the summer. As he was about to pull the trigger he looked up. Directly in front of him, was a picture of that friend. He thought about what his friend's been going through since losing his brother. He couldn't do that to his friend. He told Mark that if he hadn't have looked up, he'd be dead right now.

I was sad that Jenn didn't come over. I thought she must not like me anymore. That would make sense. I had gotten too comfortable being drunk and fucked up and going on and on to her about shit that doesn't matter. I'm such a twit. I mentally kicked myself for screwing up yet another friendship, and concentrated on enjoying Mark's company. Then, he remembered a message from her. Apparently she loves me, and she knows I'd think she doesn't like me, and she wanted him to tell me she's just always too damn busy with her career goals whenever we call. In fact, Saturday morning, she had to get up early to go to the office she never goes to and tonight, she's busy filling out evaluation forms for her students.

Saturday was relaxing. I came home from work and watched the NeverEnding Story while KC edited video on the computer. That's pretty much what I've done the rest of this week, except replace the NeverEnding Story with TV or more of the Office.

I have a few shows this weekend. It's too bad. I'm lacking my usual excitement. I don't feel like being in public. But, if this storm I've heard rumours of doesn't hit tonight, you should come to Reflections. The show's free and the drinks aren't expensive. If you're underage and/or just prefer the young scene or the bands playing the young show, we're playing the Pavilion tomorrow. That show's not free, but there are more bands involved including the 2 playing tonight. Then, I'm going to the dean Malenkos CD release at the Marquee. I can't see anything else bringing me to that bar after this show. The Open mic's gone, and I've only been upstairs a few times in the last year. The Constantines (who I hated) show that I got into for free, and the Pop Explosion shows that I got into for free (and got to see other bands I hated, like the Arcade Fire.)

It's such an icy feeling
It's so cold in Alaska

This day last year, I was getting fed up with NSCC.