So one month from today is Christmas Day. If Christmas isn't your holiday of choice this time of year, it doesn't really matter to me, it's what I grew up celebrating. I wish I could express my feelings better because:
I HATE CHRISTMAS!! Seriously. I mean, I know there are some good things about the season (time off school, presents, etc) but I'm a negative person and so I don't remember the positive. For a lot of people, getting to see their family is an important part and a positive point. But I have too many families spread all over the continent. I always feel like everyone's pulling me this way and that, selfishly wanting to spend time with me. But what about what I want, huh? Yes, I'd like to see my family, but I can't see everyone and I feel noone cares. All I want is to have a nice holiday of my own, if they want to see me, they can come to my house.
And then there's the presents. I do enjoy showing someone I care about them by giving them gifts. But COME ON. I don't need a specific time of year to show I care. Besides, how could I get something for everyone I care about? This year, for example, I will be seeing cousins I haven't seen in years. Most years, I do not mail them a gift, but this year, I feel I should bring something. Especially since they're kids. Then there's always those people who you don't have on your shopping list; either you don't really care about them, or you can't afford to please everyone and they're lower on the priority list. But they get you something. Guilt. I love that feeling. I'm guilty all the time.
One of the things I hate the absolute most about Christmas is that it's such a big fucking deal. You walk down the street, everything's decorated Christmas-y, You hear the same old fucking songs everywhere you go, over and over again, year after year. Sometimes, it's a different version of the same song, but that's usually worse.
To top things off this year, my mom's getting hitched...again. How many times has your mom changed her name? Mine went from maiden name to my dad's name, back to her maiden name, to another married name, and now she will be changing it to yet another married name. For the most part, he sounds like a nice guy. I've never met him, and she just divorced my step-dad 10 months prior to getting engaged again. I worry about her, always rushing into things, never able to be man-less.
I'm supposed to be getting married next year. Am I just following my mom's footsteps? At first, I thought so. But this will be her SECOND marriage since I started dating my fiance, so I guess it's safe to assume that I'm not rushing, at least not like her.
I HATE CHRISTMAS!! Seriously. I mean, I know there are some good things about the season (time off school, presents, etc) but I'm a negative person and so I don't remember the positive. For a lot of people, getting to see their family is an important part and a positive point. But I have too many families spread all over the continent. I always feel like everyone's pulling me this way and that, selfishly wanting to spend time with me. But what about what I want, huh? Yes, I'd like to see my family, but I can't see everyone and I feel noone cares. All I want is to have a nice holiday of my own, if they want to see me, they can come to my house.
And then there's the presents. I do enjoy showing someone I care about them by giving them gifts. But COME ON. I don't need a specific time of year to show I care. Besides, how could I get something for everyone I care about? This year, for example, I will be seeing cousins I haven't seen in years. Most years, I do not mail them a gift, but this year, I feel I should bring something. Especially since they're kids. Then there's always those people who you don't have on your shopping list; either you don't really care about them, or you can't afford to please everyone and they're lower on the priority list. But they get you something. Guilt. I love that feeling. I'm guilty all the time.
One of the things I hate the absolute most about Christmas is that it's such a big fucking deal. You walk down the street, everything's decorated Christmas-y, You hear the same old fucking songs everywhere you go, over and over again, year after year. Sometimes, it's a different version of the same song, but that's usually worse.
To top things off this year, my mom's getting hitched...again. How many times has your mom changed her name? Mine went from maiden name to my dad's name, back to her maiden name, to another married name, and now she will be changing it to yet another married name. For the most part, he sounds like a nice guy. I've never met him, and she just divorced my step-dad 10 months prior to getting engaged again. I worry about her, always rushing into things, never able to be man-less.
I'm supposed to be getting married next year. Am I just following my mom's footsteps? At first, I thought so. But this will be her SECOND marriage since I started dating my fiance, so I guess it's safe to assume that I'm not rushing, at least not like her.
posted by crystal at
2:38 pm
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